Moving on

It's really funny how envy can be masked,

How it rapidly roots deep inside one's heart,

Playing the fool so well it is almost believable,

But when the lights are turned off,

And there's just it and my consciousness chatting

The void makes deeper,

The sorrow gets blacker,

The soul becomes thinner...

And it's just funny to list all the things I've longed for

But I, undoubtedly, won't ever get:

My brother adjusting my tie

My parents walking me down the aisle,

My nieces throwing flowers some steps in front of me,

My sister's waiting for me dressed up in nice gowns,

My nephews carrying the rings,

A beautiful ceremony where everyone cries with happiness,

My aunts and uncles smiling at me,

My grandmothers dancing the waltz with me,

My grandparents making a toast before dinner is served

My friends dancing around me cheering and clapping,

My hand wearing a wedding ring,

My lips yelling his name,

His surname made him mine...

So I have to lower my expectations,

Feel blessed with what I have,

Embrace the love I am surrounded by,

And stop daydreaming,

Cease to wait for the day,

My love becomes legally recognized,

Socially accepted,

Equally validated...

I really need to stop wishing for a dream wedding I will never celebrate,

And enjoy fully those to which I am invited,

Wash out every streak of envy,

And just move on.